Why?

Why can’t I fly?

Do I not deserve to feel freedom physically rather than it being a small ruined faint thought in the back of my mind. 

Why must you keep me inside this cell?

I am no criminal I swear by it. Does my word not have the same worth as yours? Yes, I know I’ve stolen that apple but, I haven’t eaten in days.

What have I done to be put in such a  harsh position?

You won’t let me near your children though I am a child myself. Do I not deserve friends? Yes, I am quiet and rarely speak but, I am afraid the smallest of a whisper is all it’ll take for you to abandon me.

Why? What have I done?

Why must I do tricks like a dog to get some sort of attention? Why must my leg, arm, or something to that nature be missing for you to recognize me as a human being?

Why must you look at me with such anger when I act out after years of keeping it all in? What advice do you have to give? Do you know what its like to miss a meal, never receive a Christmas present, or watch your sister move away somewhere with a complete stranger?

It didn’t matter how much I begged them not to take her did it? Though they know she was the very last thing I had and I for her the same.

It doesn’t matter, never has.

As I sit in the rain watching the small droplets fall away from the dark clouds onto the old dimly lit, roof sunken in the orphanage. I wonder…

When my feet grow tired of dancing, will I be able to get back up again?

I think I just got ran over

Pain is physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.- Webster Dictionary 

If only it were that simple. 

Pain is more than physical suffering its emotionally devastating. 

Pain is like a virus even though you don’t feel it, it still lyes within you.

Pain leaves a burning sensation that you just can’t shake whether good or bad. 

Pain is physically scarring sometimes more than people let on.

Pain is a silent enemy that wins more that 67% of the time. 

Pain is in some instances controllable but, sometimes you lose someone or something and the only way you can truly heal the wound is with tears of pain.

Pain is deeply rooted within all that is expression. You could not feel joy without first feeling the pain of loss. You could not hear the magnificent beauty in music if you couldn’t connect with that very moment of pain in the past. You couldn’t carry hope like a shield of protection if you haven’t felt what it’s like to have none.

Pain is that icy burn in your heart when you think you’ve got nothing left. 

Pain is that throat clenching burn, so bad you can’t even find the will to speak because someone you’ve love unconditionally hurt you the most.

Pain is hard to swallow. 

Simply because the antidote is even harder to swallow.

Forgiveness; some of you are already thinking “No fudging way will I ever forgive them”. 

Well pain is like poison all it does is take away. Forgiveness is like a leap of faith scary at first but, you’ll be glad you did it.

You make the choice.

 

Some times people are stupid

People are stupid that is what I’ve come to realize.

They speak of things of great power when truly they’ve got no clue what they’re saying.

People hide who they are just to empress someone else, after that person becomes jettison they run back to themselves but discover that ship has long since sailed.

People become bitter and lashing out on anyone who dares come within a yard away, than wonder way they are alone.

People think of themselves as God yet, can’t even control what goes on in their own lives. You’d think if you were God the person you felt so dearly about wouldn’t have hurt you, or ever have any harm done to them.

People are most certainly stupid no matter how high the IQ . I know because I am one I’ve got a fairly high IQ; I am considered above the average joes.

But, even with high intelligence I still make the same mistakes wether it be a week, months, or years after making that very same mistake. I feel the exact same pain and till myself it won’t happen again, it will.

Why?

Because I am a human everything I’ve done has been done before every screw up and not so screwed up things, all I do is repeat we all do.

For it is the largest flaw in the cycle of humanity. Who can fight it but, God himself.

Which I am not.

Hear me out

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You’re looking at me with piercing eyes trying to read my mind


I want to scream at you it’s impossible even I tried


My mind is a mess of memory and thoughts


If you can read me well tell me what you see


 I can only see what I want too 


Not what is truly there


I see a broken mess don’t declare that I am depressed 


Why its the very opposite 


I’m Ok with being me